Are you alive?

Living is hard enough with all the worries in the world and the stress in your life. So just be yourself, and make life happen don't just live, live outloud! Muah!

A Dedication to Our Queendom

Me and my friends have a way of dealing with one another. Each kind of plays a role to the whole group and then we have our separate bonds. Bonds that are unbreakable and recent events have proven that. 8 yrs we have invested in friendship and some of us 10. Its crazy when you look back on life and a friendship and see how much you and the people that mean the most to you been through. me and my three girls have been through good, bad, ugly, and devilish things. We have all made one another cry, laugh, wanna fight and wanna hug each other. No matter the circumstances we have stood by one another. We may take time away and have not so nice things to say but its all in the name of love for our girls. These are the woman who will watch and help me grow and vice versa. I love my Queens.

To Our Queendom!

Something to Think About

Something to think about.....
Earlier today my best friend Brandi emailed me a link to an article called “11 Things to Know at 25ish” by Shauna Niequist. It is published in Relevant Magazine. This article gives insight on life and what we could be doing about it at this young oh so tender age. It really opened my eyes to the things that I have been looking at as obstacles and showed me that they are more like opportunities. Opportunities that are given to you to mess up fix it and mess up again. Being 22 seems so hard sometimes. I never know what path I want to take, I am always dreaming up some plan for my life but I never take action on it. The article talked about the how this is the time to figure it all out. This is the time to take risks, travel and try everything you ever wanted. While doing so you, you may just end up finding YOU. I find myself stressing over really small things, but to me it’s the end of the world. Being a single mother has its ups and downs. My priorities are different from your average 22 year old. I have another life to think about when making certain decisions. Like where I want to work. I would love to be working part time and interning with a radio station, or a fashion boutique, going on vacation to Miami and Paris in the summer or even a cruise but my responsibilities to keep a roof over her head and food in her stomach keep me from doing so. So here I am at a job I don’t like, spending day after day dreaming of what I want to be doing. After reading this article I have realized that I have to give a little to get more. I need to start pursuing some of the things I dream of. Giving a little more of my time now while I am young and she is young may mean more time when we both are older for us to grow and be happy and be stable in every way possible. The want for more is no longer a want it is a necessity. I need to do things the way I see fit (of course in a way beneficial to our well- being). This article spoke volumes to me. I hope this speaks volumes to you and that you get up, get out, and do something with your life.

Looking Past the Past

Your past haunts you in more ways than one. It can consume you until there isn’t a future to look forward to, there is always a past to look into. People hardly ever notice this defect in their lives, others that do notice aren’t able to control it and take a stand against it. I am a victim of this epidemic. I always see what the problem is and the solution, however I am never able to get the grip on how to put those solutions into action. It is only human instinct to compare situations from the past when faced with a similar one. The issue lies with in taking the lesson learned from past experience and using it to better the new situation or to get past it. Most people, like me, dwell on the past situation. We harbor those feelings that we thought we may have moved on from. We may have prayed for healing, even changed our lives around a little to change those feelings but when faced with a similar situation we revert back to those feelings and regurgitate the outcome. So how do you move past the old and embrace the new? It’s a scary thing when the old has hurt you, or disappointed you. All I can really say is give it a chance. Approach the situation in a different manner not using the past as a crutch. Do not hold onto what was and let what is in. There are always signs, like huge red flags, that will always let you know if this particular situation will be like the last. It is up to you to point them out in the beginning in order to see a change or to deal with it and get the same results. Look past what you have been through, other things people have done to you because even though there are hints of those situations in your current one, one strong belief in change can make all the difference.

Loving me FIRST!

I feel like i have been stuck in this world where everyone else mattered more than me. I put everything and everybody before my own needs. I cared about what other people thought and valued their more opinion than my own. That way of living is in the past. I could care less wat anyone thinks because at the end of the day i have to live for me. Living for me means doing what i want when i want and in a sensable matter of course. When you live for what other people think you arent living at all. You begin to think and act the way the world thinks is rght but what about you and what you belive in? Now some people may live unethically and those are not the people i am aderessing. I am talking to the ones that do things that make their friends and family happy but never really want to do them. They take part in activities they might not want to. Wear the things they feel are what other people would think is right. At this point you arent being you. being you is the only thing you have in this world. So why not take your life into your own hands? Be what you are no matter the thoughts of others. Care only about what you want. Now i am not saying be inconsiderate, however be considerate of what you want in life. Take care of your needs before others. If you are unhappy how can you make the anyone else in your life happy? Put your feelings first and then think about what would be in the others best interest. Living for me is the best decision i have made in a long time. No matter the consequences i will not back out on this. I know what i am and what i am destined to be. Only god can judge me; although cliche i honestly believe thise words and pass them on to you in hopes that you take it in your heart and make right with yourself and the man above so that life isnt what others make it, its what you make it.

Words from a place unknown

There is something in th air that i cant explain...and through the hard days and pain, the sunshine through the rain, i know there will be some change -Lynn

Vicious Cycle

What happened to the race of men that knew what it meant to have a good woman by his side? What happen to chivalry and treating a good woman like a queen? What happen to the men that knew what it meant to be a provider? I sit here and watch some of these so called “men” and laugh at their rendition of what is a good man. I’ve watched marriage after marriage fail and become a part of the tragic epidemic of what is wrong with relationships now days. Some women are the blame for the lack of real “men” we have in this world. It starts with some of these mothers out here not raising their sons. Yes a woman can raise a man to be a real man and know how to treat a woman and take care of his family. Then you have fucked up woman (who’s fucked up because of either a messed up mother or father) that treat the good men like shit and use them that turns them into dogs and they turn around and trash the good woman to then turn her into the fucked up woman. It’s a vicious cycle that keeps going. I feel like it starts with a man. A strong man can make a strong female any day. He can help raise strong kids and turn this messed up world around. How can you cheat on your wife and think that it justifies the wrongs that she may have done to you? How can you stand around and watch your wife bust her ass to take care of you and your children and think that she’s crazy when she comes home bitching about everything? She’s tired and frustrated! It’s a dam shame. So I’ll start with the parents.
 So let’s start with the father who is never there.  And yes it is a little cliché that I start off with the missing father but that is the way it is now a days. The father is always the one missing in the situation. They leave these mothers out here to raise these kids on their own as if they made them alone. It’s hard enough to have to deal with the weight of the world but now you have another person to watch over and until they are grown. It is that parent’s job to take on the weight for them. Now there are some single fathers out there and we will get to that later. So with that said let’s get back to the point.  If he’s never there, he can’t raise his son to be a good man. He can’t teach him the little things like keeping the dam toilet seat down in a house with a woman to the big shit about how to open doors and take the check once in a while. He can’t teach him the value of being a man what great things can come from it. Then there is the daughter he may have left. The daughter he showed by leaving that it was ok for a man to leave his family. He was never there to show her how much she is worthy of a good man and that her goods are priceless. Never there to show her how a man should treat his woman and how the world isn’t full of scumbags. In his absence these things then are left up to the mother. The mother he left to raise this child on her own.  Now I have run into men and woman who have been raised by a strong woman no matter the race. These Men understand the value of a woman and what they are to do to keep this woman.  These women understand what it is to be a lady and be treated like a queen. Now everyone has their flaws and they are entitled to mistakes and bad habits but the bad habit of being a dead beat father just does not sit well with me.
 Now let’s get into the mothers part of this. You have the drunk, druggie and slore that don’t take any time out of their day to teach their children anything. They spend their time dwelling on why the man left them or why they can’t get another man. They use these things as a crutch to help them cope. What they do not realize is that they are showing their kids how to be unproductive citizens in this world. If this woman spent half the time she did drinking and fucking, showing her son how to properly talk to a woman rather slander her every chance he gets, he could possibly be a decent man. She would be able to show her daughter how to properly take care of herself and what kind of men she should be looking for and that every man is no worth her time. She could teach her how to treat a real man so that she does not corrupt him. It’s the parent’s job to make sure that their kids become better women and men than them. It is their job to make sure that they come out into this world and make something of themselves and not be a burden on anyone else’s life.
 There are so many reasons on why people are the way they are, but the main reason starts with the way we are raising our kids.

Knowing is half the battle

Knowing is only half the battle. Isn’t that what the great saying says? My question is what if you know it all but what you know is really not the truth? What do we do with all the lies that people dish out as the truth? How do we sift through the lies and the reality of what is really to be known? At this point you may feel like, well then everything is a lie right? Not true. Only the truth shall set you free, yet another great saying. If all we know is how to bend the truth, or only give half a story then what is reality? For instance, in relationships, how can we depict the liars from the honest Abes? Is there a bell that will ring every time the truth is not told or a shock buzzer that will shock the hell out of the person that wants to deceive you? It’s like when a woman asks her man what looks good on her. Now what does he say? “Anything looks good on you baby”? Lies right, because everything is not for everyone? So when she does look good in something and he actually compliments her, how would she know it was the truth? And so begins the trust issue, which leads to arguments, and ultimately the demise of any said relationship they thought they had. Then you have that whole, the boy who cried wolf syndrome. You ever had a friend or associate that seemed to think that lying was a game? They would joke and kid but in reality they are really telling a piece if their truth to you they just done have the balls to say it straight out. You also have that oh, it's not me it's you thing that happens, and not only in relationships but in any situation where the person tries to make you feel better about the situation by saying the issue lies with them not with you. It's just so sad. If that person has a problem with you then they should state it. Nine times out of ten someone else has the same issue and it should be fixed. There is that one chance that it is the person and they are just either crazy or just not a fit to be in your square (circles are for nerds). Then there is the case of the child who asks too many dam questions and we give them the fairy tale answers. It seems that we instill lying in our children from day one so in the end they become these “story” tellers and great truth benders and we wonder why they hide the tats and sex from us. Should we continue on with running away from giving real answers to our kids? When they ask is Santa Claus real what do we say? “Oh of course baby he travels in one night to all he houses and brings the good kids all the presents? I don’t think so! You did not work hard all year long to make a way to give that kid the best Christmas for this white nothing of a character to get the credit. How the hell did he get into the apartment with no fireplace? What, he uses the freaking keyhole? And this is the bull crap we feed our kids that make them the liars they are today. They best politicians believe in the Easter bunny until they were ten. Now when they grow up and find the truth is not what you told them is when the problem begins. They figure out that if mommy and daddy can lie then why not me. It wasn’t a lie that hurt me so if I tell a lie that has some of the truth in it then I will be ok right? Oh so wrong. So how do we break this chain of un-dimensional, pathological lying? Do we ban together and just start telling the blunt, straight up truth? Do we tell the mom that’s forty to stop wearing her daughter’s clothes and getting piercing and grow up? Or do we stand around and laugh with them like it’s the new thing to do? Do we tell our mates what looks good and what we think is hideous or do we tell them they are just as skinny as the next person in those too small leggings and those Levis that look like they fit a six year old? Can we talk to our kids about where babies come from for real or do we keep feeding them the fairy tale stories of the stork or the pumpkin seeds, for them to only find out that we were lying anyway. We will probably never stop bending the truth and dishing out fake answers just to get by for the day. And this is when you should Fear not what you know, but the unknown of what you think you know……….-Lynn