Insecure: Not sure or certain; doubtful, Inadequately guarded or protected; unsafe, Not firm or fixed; unsteady, Lacking stability; troubled,Lacking self-confidence; plagued by anxiety.
Insecurities linger in the air everywhere you go. I am very familiar with this word. It plays in the backyard of my life. In everything that I do I find a way to bring up an insecurity about the situation. Sometimes its not even on purpose. I like to think that I am a very optimistic person, but the reality is that as much as I am optimistic I can be very insecure. I think positive about many things and then the negative creeps into my mind. I struggle with just letting things be what they are. I always want perfection. When I try to find the source of the problem, I end up with one answer, Myself. I am my worse critic. I am told I am beautiful everyday, but i find something wrong with me all the time. I am told I am smart, but I find a way to dumb myself down. People tell me they love my writing, and then I stop. There is a wall up that I cannot seem to break down. People go through this everyday. Doctors may say it stems from a past issue that may have put them in this place, I believe that is one of the issues. There is so much more. Insecurities are like a monster that feeds on the mind until you believe in its power. I try hard everyday to hide these insecurities but they shine through me like the sun. I pray about it but I don't put my best foot forward. My personal monster is greedy and steals from my mind everyday. The only thing i can do if fight the temptation to break down. I exude confidence even when my heart says otherwise. That is the first step and the next is to actually believe in what I put out there for the world to see. I have dreams and goals that I want to accomplish. Being insecure can be the reason I do not succeed. Maybe this is apart of growing up. You realize your flaws and try to fix them. Writing about my problems is like a breath of fresh air. It helps me cope and come to terms with my issue and start a process of healing and fixing. Sometimes you feel alone but I am sure I am not the only one that is feeling this weight on my shoulders. Hopefully this reaches someone who is going through the same thing and they understand that they are not alone as well. The first step is realizing the issue, the next step is making sure you fix them. This is my healing process. What is yours????
